omg i'm blogging on myspace. fry my emo hotpants i'm getting crass...
anyways...
if u are ugly, u are fortunate. because most of the time, its the other
people that have to suffer looking at ur ugly face.
if u are beautiful, u are unfortunate. because, not only most of the time
you have to suffer looking at other people's horrible faces. you mostly dont get
to see your own beautiful face.
Haha. Thats why my friends are so beautiful. I'm not a pimp... its just
beautiful people are attracted to ugly people. cause the ugly people makes the
beautiful people look more beautiful... hence sux0rs! really appreciate the
friendship habibz, u make my world.
Recently I think I'm losing my mind. I keep on lying for no reason (this
has been going on for a while guys. actually that would be an understatement,
i'm a prof con artist since yr 7... I would seriously explode a lie detector),
and I cant stop. my soul is black. like marcs' nigga heart. if you dont noe what
i'm on about. its ok. ur not marc.
It's late. I dont noe what i'm on about, everything is confusing. I'm not
taking drugs. Except for prescription. Hmm... maybe that makes acid ?
I went iceskating today... which makes me feel really bad... not cause i
got d flu... but i turned down going iceskating with LILY and JANICE
yesterday.... >_< " sigh.... and it's hard to milk a permit for going out
nowadays... stupid fascist communists! Ok i take that bak. Love ya mum. Love ya
dad. sure do. please dont exhume me in the black market~~~ u need me for...
er... pension... later...
anyways. HAPPY BIRTHDAY YAO!!!! Yao is 19. he should be a very proud boy.
especially because he's very good at iceskating. and totally pwned everyone's
asses (except maybe johns). ESPECIALLY daniel's... cause daniel is a monkey from
fujian... that kills civillians on virtual cop. good work pat for today. nice
moves king. but will did betta. and we found out that zhiyu is a woman today. he
also lives in a moving bin. excellenta.
maggi n lucy looked hot today. but i think jess looked hottest. Waaaa
>_< y am I sick with d flu??? I wanna spend more time with everyone......
DIE SUCKY! (i think that means i like a lot in japanese... mebbe it's like spelt
daisuki but i'm sure they mean the same thing, correct me on this one lu)
awa... everything is on now... hmm
official stuff
manoman 14th!
1. possibly giving prezzie to johnny... laserfight thing.... looking out
for maggi flooding...
2. Easha's birthday, movie "in Pursuit of Happiness" (bgeezus i really want
to watch this too)
Jan 20th must b some kind of super pumped auspicious day.... cause
1. Kim n Lily's birthdays... coogee... possibly a spot of canoeing... high
tea? NADIA will b bak! Hmm possibly a jazz concert at the end of it
2. Joan has Yumcha. She sent a note around facebook.
3. Ra's birthday. Luna park? Possibly get drunk. (note might get drunk at
fort crews anyway.... generally as a rule i avoid drinking...)
Wahhh I hate driving!!!! Its so scary n boring at the same time... and I'm
too unco.... dun wanna learn how to drive.... I LOVE CITYRAIL T_T....
*clings*
umm exactly... i'm just a stupid woman....but not flimsy!!! HAHAHA....
points at marc!
an pan [tl;dr] says: yeah it doesnt work u cant make someone into your dream
LJ says: i know
an pan [tl;dr] says: you can only make your dream into someone an pan [tl;dr] says: 对我来说，爱是改变自己的。 为了爱的人，改变自己 LJ says:
for me..maybe not change myself..but more like
pei he
an pan [tl;dr] says: well only thing
LJ says: i think that if you change yourself..its like
lost yourself which sometimes is not a good thing
an pan [tl;dr] says: i'd expect my bf to change a bit too
LJ says: he can change if only he wants to not i tell him to change
an pan [tl;dr] says: yeah but if i change myself
LJ says: thus..pei
he more than gai bian
an pan [tl;dr] says: its cause i WANT to change myself
LJ says: yeah but i don't want you to ke yi change yourself
an pan [tl;dr] says: haha but if i dont i'm so lazy n stupid who is gonna continue to
like me? haha
LJ says: me
an pan [tl;dr] says: its different when i have a bf tho the guy's every emotion/ comment rules my
world
LJ says: my god dats lost zi wo
an pan [tl;dr] says: haha i'll make sure i pick a guy that guides me in
the right direction
LJ says: yes u should
an pan [tl;dr] says: the only other thing that keeps me myself in a
relationship are my dedication to my parents
LJ says: i would like to like a guy that will like my
good as well as the bad
LJ says: yeah but that is hard to find though, dat person
has to be a real xiao zi himself
an pan [tl;dr] says: it is thats y i dont really look for that
LJ says: wat do you mean look for what
an pan [tl;dr] says: 一个满足于我，有负责任感，把家庭看的重，有主心骨的人 not someone who enjoy my bad points i dont respect someone who says that either i think its superficial, or if he
really feel like that i cannot respect him LJ says: not like like my bad points but more like accept my bad points and compromise
an pan [tl;dr] says: huh? yeah maybe
LJ says: cause no one is perfect i definitely will not change myself for the
guy i like to the extent that i can't keep my original self, cause that is
becoming selfless
an pan [tl;dr] says: but i would want to change for
LJ says: i think...changing too much for love..u might
change the self that he likes the most
an pan [tl;dr] says: a human is a wild animal without taming. and
only can tame. thas what i think
LJsays: wow
an pan [tl;dr] says: no the guy who s me
LJ says: you are a very unbalanced person
an pan [tl;dr] says: will like that part of me the most i derno when i have a bf i cant help it it just happens
LJsays: wow .. dats outrageous i think dats like crazy love
an pan [tl;dr] says: 自己总是想让他看见最好的。。。然后慢慢的就改变了自己 我对恋爱很认真的。 LJ
says: not changing doesn't mean you dui ai bu ren
zhen though
an pan [tl;dr] says: 这是我的爱的方式 LJ
says: yeah..dats a lot different to mine i think..if ur like too outrageous..it can
only make love not last long
an pan [tl;dr] says: yeah prolly y none of my relationships lasted
more than 3 months 可是我改变不了我的改变！ LJ says: you should keep the original self... dats what is most important true, dats your way to deal with love need to find someone that likes that
an pan [tl;dr] says: 爱到发狂了 LJ
says: yeah..you are feng kuang i like you know..the quiet sort of love..xi
shui chang liu
an pan [tl;dr] says: haha that reminds me of that lady in da chang jing
LJ says: like i'm willing to die for that guy... but in terms of changing myself beyond my
likings i won't
an pan [tl;dr] says: 细水长流。。。粗一点也可不可以长流呢？?/span> LJ says:
wei shen me yao
chu yi dian
an pan [tl;dr] says:
i wont die for a guy man
thats useless
LJ says:
i would..cause loving him means i would want him to live more than me...
an pan [tl;dr] says:
extra for my careless nature
i wouldnt die for a guy because the guy would want me to live on
and experience happiness for him
i would live his dream for him
LJ says:
no i wouln't i would want him to experience the happiness himeslf
an pan [tl;dr] says:
but thats such a bad scenario
ah u mean saving his life?
course i would do it if i can
LJ says:
yes
an pan [tl;dr] says:
but i wouldnt go die just because he died
LJ says:
..well..dat depends
an pan [tl;dr] says:
i need to look after my parents in their old age
an pan [tl;dr] says: 哈哈
LJ says:
i didn't mean it in that way
i meant if he was going to die and that my life could save him
i would 我會用自己的生命去愛一個我真正愛的人
an pan [tl;dr] says:
~~~~ asked me 如果我和你妈两个人都掉进海里。。。。你救谁 LJ says: 我很干脆的回答：我妈
an pan [tl;dr] says: 还有你正么搞得那么笨会让我妈掉海里，而且把自己也陪上？
LJ says:
well..i'll say..if that ever happens..i'll save my mum..but i'll die with you,
by da way, if he died, you could have never asked him that question
an pan [tl;dr] says:
no then my mum will be sad
LJ says:
sadness is something u can get over through time, I think mum will understand
but i don't think i'd be able to live without him
an pan [tl;dr] says:
yeah but i dont want my mum to experience that kind of pain
LJ says:
like in da test we did..for me...i'll be faithful and loyal till the end
an pan [tl;dr] says: 活者留恋死者比死者痛苦应为死是短暂的而活这是日复一日的痛苦。这种痛苦我不愿我父母在他们的晚年忍受，我宁愿自己去忍受
LJ says:
是的，活着的人是比较痛苦yes..i
know
but no..i would want to die with him still，你的痛苦，会带给你生边的人痛苦，或者是责备，然而离开，我相信他们会理解
an pan [tl;dr] says:
thats a choice that you make
an pan [tl;dr] says:
i think different tho 假如爱我的人，我爱的人死了，残废了，失去理智了，我做的是应该安慰他的家人，实现他的梦想。
LJ says:
i know..that would be the best to do...but we are talking about a cliff sort of
situation
i didn’t save him when i could have
dats y i would die with him
if he died cause of car crash
i would live on
an pan [tl;dr] says:
yeah what i said before if i could die instead of him i would, otherwise my job
is to 承担上他的责任etc
LJ says:
yeah i would as well if its the second situation
but when i could have but i chose not to
i would die of guilt
an pan [tl;dr] says:
i wouldnt. I'll be doing what i can to 亡羊补牢
thats y i that liu de hua movie
shi jie shang me you xiao tou or something
the girl lives on for their baby
LJ says:
well..if i have a kid by then
i prlly will
cause the kid is part of him
an pan [tl;dr] says:
yeah
but i'm d kind who is attracted to guys that ahve ambition rite
so i'd like to fulfil his dreams for him
thats the most important thing for me
LJ says:
wow..you like ambitious person
i only like ppl dats a little ambitious
too much..god..i can't take it
an pan [tl;dr] says:
if we both die then neither use will be 社会上有用的人
LJ says:
...she hui shang you yong de ren, dats true, but there are so many of us
shao bu liao wo men ji ge..haha
an pan [tl;dr] says: 哈哈做个有价值的人。我认为也是我的责任
LJ says:
true
an pan [tl;dr] says:
haha
i think philosophically a lot
so i've got a lot of guidelines down for myself already
LJ says:
for me...to be with him..to be loyal is prolly the most important, because it
is missing in a lot of relationships these days...and on top of that...i'll
give back to the society..u can call me selfish..if you want..cause when i love
someone...if i lose that person..pain will make me die
an pan [tl;dr] says:
no no
that is not selfish
its just a different way of loving someone
to my way
i think i'm very independent
overly so a bit
LJ says:
i would want to be the one to be with that person through all of his
life... 我相信，我可以彌補愛人缺點，同樣，他可以彌補我的。 互補
LJ says:
tian chang di jiu, bai tou xie lao
an pan [tl;dr] says:
yeah i always imagine my boyfriends and me as old guys sitting on a porch
me knitting
him reading the newspaper
LJ says:
man..never imagined
an pan [tl;dr] says:
its all quiet except for the sound of cicadas
LJsays:
so old and wrinkly
argh..
an pan [tl;dr] says:
and our breathing
haha to me that is the picture of ultimate幸福
LJ says:
to me..prolly by da beach..i'll sleep on his shoulders and he'll hold my
hand
an pan [tl;dr] says:
haha cooking dina together
reading story books to little kids together
staring to each others eyes like goofs
LJ says:
ahha...putting cake on eachother's face, I’ll stil be a bit of kid
when I’m old I’m sure
an pan [tl;dr] says:
him posing for me as i sketch him
LJsays:
arghh..no thanks
Too old to sketch without shaking..i’ll
use the camera instead
an pan [tl;dr] says:
his writing poetry fro me
an pan [tl;dr] says:
hahah
LJ says:
no way..he can play video games with me
ahha
an pan [tl;dr] says:
for some reason i always wanted a guy who can write poetry
an pan [tl;dr] says:
haha video game prowess goes without saying
平衡也许可以长久,但是我觉得平衡其实带来了世界上很多悲伤.当有权利但是自私的人在控制局面的时候应该放弃自己的平衡protest一下.列如John Howard 和 当时的 Tampa 事件.多数人都选择了自己的平衡所以当时骗人的有权人还在这是可以安然无恙的坐他的位置. 即使是审问了也就是抓了几个替死鬼来演技部戏而已. 而大家被耍了也不以为然.还有,大家都知道保护环境是个多么重要的问题,可是有几个人去实现了实际? 为什么?为了保守自己的平衡.宁愿做快乐的白吃.
an pan [tl;dr] hmm zhiyu. what do you think is more important spiritual balance or ambition? - 誉 - GIlly how can you do this to me?! wah... - 誉 - GIlly how can you do this to me?! big words... but the former sounds more important to me;) an pan [tl;dr] hmm ur with lucy and ray - 誉 - GIlly how can you do this to me?! ambition? i wish i were emperor kang xi and had 55 wives...but thats not gonna happen - 誉 - GIlly how can you do this to me?! so ambition = useless lol an pan [tl;dr] yes but there is ambition on another level say ambition for social justice in order to stage protest you have to unbalance your emotions in weight of one side of the argument to achieve balance in the greater community - 誉 - GIlly how can you do this to me?! gee this is getting too complex for my simple mind... so does spiritual balance refer to not having strong emotions and not taking sides? an pan [tl;dr] i take it to mean feeling comfortable - 誉 - GIlly how can you do this to me?! well...i only feel comfortable when im running on emotions lol ie im a lot more 感性 than 理性 感性 + 性感 = zhiyu :P an pan [tl;dr] yes zhiyu haha i think i'm a very feeling person everything affects me easily and deeply thats y its not easy for me to achieve balance sometimes i dont even want to achieve balance - 誉 - GIlly how can you do this to me?! lol well i guess feeling and sensitivity are different things i think im a very feeling person yet not very sensitive as in i dun get pissed off easily an pan [tl;dr] yes i dont get pissed off easily and i never take anything seriously its terrible - 誉 - GIlly how can you do this to me?! haha yeh well most girls tend to be quite sensitive compared to guys but i guess there r exceptions lol an pan [tl;dr] yes. i am a bit of a bloke >_> - 誉 - GIlly how can you do this to me?! lol john's the opposite:P
prashant i'm boored :P how are you :P an pan [tl;dr] good good having philosophical debates an pan [tl;dr] what do you think is more important prashant haha really about about an pan [tl;dr] personal 'spiritual' harmony or ambition? prashant hm, that is rather philosophical, but obviously harmony :P no point in ambition if you dont really feel right about it why what do you say an pan [tl;dr] yes but there is ambition on another level say ambition for social justice in order to stage protest you have to unbalance your emotions in weight of one side of the argument to achieve balance in the greater community prashant hm, but thing is, if it really will balance the greater community, then your emotions wont fight against it? if it really is what you should be doing, then you should feel at ease doing it :P an pan [tl;dr] yes but arent your emotions unbalanced whilst u are doing that? also, the people around you will have a different level of balance to you that causes turmoil right//? prashant hm, your emotions shouldnt be too unbalanced though, i mean some emotions will definately be against others, but there should be a total balance, eg - your emotions will feel strongly about your "aim" and so, this balances the uneasiness that you might feel an pan [tl;dr] i guess. but sometimes there is a need to sacrifice your own balance for ambition or for duty prashant yeah, but how big is this ambition if you have to unbalance yourself an pan [tl;dr] sometimes i just get hot in the head? prashant haha, what made you come up with this argument :P an pan [tl;dr] haha this is such an emo debate hhaa
.::*SnowFlake*-[圣诞快乐，新年同乐！]::.just saying..balance is important....one person is only selfish when the balance is lost...=) an pan [tl;dr] y? is that? .::*SnowFlake*-[圣诞快乐，新年同乐！]::. .selfish only comes one thinking about oneself too much if that person could think about themselves and think about others...then they woudln't make a selfish decision from the start an pan [tl;dr] yeah but everybody does think about others .::*SnowFlake*-[圣诞快乐，新年同乐！]::. yes if equally the decision woulnt' be selfish an pan [tl;dr] its the exerting yourself to change others that is hard u have to take that energy out of your balance .::*SnowFlake*-[圣诞快乐，新年同乐！]::. no...if u are not balanced yourself..u cannot help others. an pan [tl;dr] forgo ur own balance to achieve the greater balance an pan [tl;dr] yes you can .::*SnowFlake*-[圣诞快乐，新年同乐！]::. no you can't...how do you know that you are not just adding to the inbalance itself?.. an pan [tl;dr] you dont .::*SnowFlake*-[圣诞快乐，新年同乐！]::. i think wat you mean is the balance before one's decision an pan [tl;dr] to become influential you need to lose part of ur balance so then before ur a part of the crowd .::*SnowFlake*-[圣诞快乐，新年同乐！]::. but i'm talking about the inner balance..only when you can make a correct and balanced judgement and then dtermined to promote that idea an pan [tl;dr] then u need to become louder then the crowd an pan [tl;dr] .yes i know an pan [tl;dr] correct judgement does not imply balance .::*SnowFlake*-[圣诞快乐，新年同乐！]::. therefore..u have balanced yourself an pan [tl;dr] balance does not imply correct judgement .::*SnowFlake*-[圣诞快乐，新年同乐！]::. no...it represent a higher chance of a correct judgement an pan [tl;dr] balance just means u can be comfortable about yourself comfortable about the way things are without changing anything .::*SnowFlake*-[圣诞快乐，新年同乐！]::. not really...balance doesn't mean you are comfortable with .::*SnowFlake*-[圣诞快乐，新年同乐！]::. for example. i like sleeping 4 in da morning does that mean that my life is balanced an pan [tl;dr] no THAT is NOT balance are u happy with ur life are u not feeling tired and unconcentrated all the time? see that is not comfort hence you have not achieved balance .::*SnowFlake*-[圣诞快乐，新年同乐！]::. no..but you said..comfortable..that is a very subjective word say one person is comfortable with sleeping at four..but it does not achieve balance but to achieve balance it doesn't have to comfortable an pan [tl;dr] yeah sure. what you understand by comfortable there actually does have two meanings each differing in how u use the word but what I mean is that emotional balance. i.e. calmness harmony if you want to make a decision, that does not require emotion. .::*SnowFlake*-[圣诞快乐，新年同乐！]::. yes..i stilll think balance is important...either emotionally or physically .::*SnowFlake*-[圣诞快乐，新年同乐！]::. why does making a decision does not require emotion?... an pan [tl;dr] You might make a decision that forces you to 'unbalance' your emotions such as anger or enthusiasm or excitement in order to achieve balance in the greater comunity in the end .::*SnowFlake*-[圣诞快乐，新年同乐！]::. yes....but when you mention ahte greater community..balance becomes a lot more complicated .::*SnowFlake*-[圣诞快乐，新年同乐！]::. in terms of your individual inner balance...it can be very different an pan [tl;dr] without unbalance how can u have an emotional surge that is needed for protst? an pan [tl;dr] without that oppression from the external world will continue to happen .::*SnowFlake*-[圣诞快乐，新年同乐！]::. the emoitional surge is a result of a self inner balanced decision again..we are caught up in the talking about the bigger balance and the inner balance an pan [tl;dr] no u have to reach temporary unbalance first within yourself .::*SnowFlake*-[圣诞快乐，新年同乐！]::. of cause..no person can be totally balance but in serach of that blance all da time an pan [tl;dr] exactly .::*SnowFlake*-[圣诞快乐，新年同乐！]::. but it is incorrect to become unbalanced though an pan [tl;dr] yes thats what ray said too but its a way of life some people strive for balance whilst other people prefer unbalance i guess unbalance gives you greater possibilites .::*SnowFlake*-[圣诞快乐，新年同乐！]::. like taking a risk sor tof an pan [tl;dr] it is if you want to have ambitions it is hard to reconcile balance and greatness .::*SnowFlake*-[圣诞快乐，新年同乐！]::. yes an pan [tl;dr] if you want to climb up in the social/career ladder, you need to sacrifice your current balance for a balance at another level .::*SnowFlake*-[圣诞快乐，新年同乐！]::. ambition is the result of 欲望, and that is not balance an pan [tl;dr] and that causes temporary unbalance .::*SnowFlake*-[圣诞快乐，新年同乐！]::. yes..but again..u are looking ofr that balance.... an pan [tl;dr] no .::*SnowFlake*-[圣诞快乐，新年同乐！]::. but no one can be totally balanced from the start..u are always in search of a balance at the point in time an pan [tl;dr] you are hoping for a balance at a 'better' point for that you have to sacrifice ur current balance .::*SnowFlake*-[圣诞快乐，新年同乐！]::. but its still blance.. other wise..how do you balance out your ambition i understand your theory of temporary unbalancenes (if that is even a word) but that is only valid if you want to destroy your current balance an pan [tl;dr] yes that is waht i mean like .::*SnowFlake*-[圣诞快乐，新年同乐！]::. in the example u gave...u r saying ppl should give up their balance..but if they don't want to ..it means they ar balanced..so they don't need to serach for a another level of balance an pan [tl;dr] 不满于现状cause unbalance .::*SnowFlake*-[圣诞快乐，新年同乐！]::. yes..its because you are bu man, suo yi you need to serach for balance .::*SnowFlake*-[圣诞快乐，新年同乐！]::. if you are man yi already why would you want to destroy it?
an pan [tl;dr] haha an pan [tl;dr] well both spiritually and physically out of balance now .::*SnowFlake*-[新年快乐！]::. yep .::*SnowFlake*-[新年快乐！]::. extremely .::*SnowFlake*-[新年快乐！]::. tipped over an pan [tl;dr] haha actually now that u mentioned it balance is a little like a bowl of water when u pour it into another container it takes a while for the water to achieve calmness but leave it calm for too long it'll grow stagnant and stinky and not good .::*SnowFlake*-[新年快乐！]::. yeah......dats why a balance is never reached .::*SnowFlake*-[新年快乐！]::. but always searching for that blance .::*SnowFlake*-[新年快乐！]::. but once its settled and before stagnant .::*SnowFlake*-[新年快乐！]::. u don' twanna tip it an pan [tl;dr] yeah thats right .::*SnowFlake*-[新年快乐！]::. aiya life is really a quest to search for that ultimate peacefulness an pan [tl;dr] or a record of that search .::*SnowFlake*-[新年快乐！]::. yet no one ever really reaches there an pan [tl;dr] and if u dont pour carefully it will spill out .::*SnowFlake*-[新年快乐！]::. yes
